1. First of all, pick the number of times a week
 that you would like to go out
 to eat.
 (more than once but less than 10)
 2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

 3. Add 5

 4. Multiply it by 50

 5. If you have already had your birthday this year
 add 1757...
 If you haven't, add 1756.
 6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were
 born.
 You should have a three digit number.
 The first digit of this was your original number.
 (I.e., How many times you
 want to go out to restaurants in a week.)
 The next two numbers are
 YOUR AGE ! ------ (Oh YES, it is!!!)

I confess that writing this was entirely too much fun.

I confess I dislike church meetings.

I confess my inability to stay organized for a long period of time.

I confess that I do get disappointed with the church more than I'll ever acknowledge (again).

I confess my ignorance of Jewish holidays and festivals; I always forget what was supposed to be done when.

I confess my desire to be a nerd (in disguise).

I confess that I probably have too many Mariah Carey singles on my IPOD.

I confess that I really think that's okay.

I confess I don't spend (20) hours working on a sermon...though maybe someday I will.

I confess sometimes I miss Galveston.

I confess that leaving churches (for a new appointment) is difficult for me.

I confess my disdain for prosperity gospel.

I confess it's been a long time since I confessed anything.

I confess I love, no really, love to teach.

I confess I joke around too much.

I confess my ears get really red when I'm ticked, but trying to maintain composure (see confession #2).

I confess I probably lean towards a more "conservative" faith.

I confess that I find this funny.

I confess I've spent too long on this....

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY
FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH
BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME
NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO. COULD HE
BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN? UPON
SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.


AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK
HIGH SCHOOL.

'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1959. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY. THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, BALD, WRINKLED, FAT BUTT,
GRAY-HAIRED, DECREPIT SON-OF-A-BISCUIT EATER ASKED, 'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?'

From the "Save This For a Sermon" file: Road Rage

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally.....I assumed you had stolen the car."

On November 2, 2004 Theo van Gogh was brutally murdered on the streets of Amsterdam in broad daylight. His death was in response to a film he helped create months before entitled Submission. It would seem in some ways that Infidel, by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, was written in response to that event—written to those willing to administer death unto others by their own religious convictions because of it, to those who were impacted by it and simply to those who would listen. Ali had written the film and was also a target of the people who killed Theo. It is this occurrence that Ali begins her book, and allots an entire chapter to in the last pages of the book. Since the time of Theo’s death Ali has been accelerated into the spotlight as a strong voice against the treatment of Muslim women; this was the issue of Submission, and the intent of Infidel is to bring continued light to this subject matter.

Ali’s other works surround this same topic. Prevalent in this topic is the total submission of women to men, violence that women are exposed to in their Muslim religion and overall oppression of women within the confines of religious liberty and practice of Muslim men (and often other women). Through this piece, however, we are given an inside look at the personal experiences of the author from her childhood through the present. Appropriately, with regard to those experiences, the work is divided into two parts: Part I: My Childhood and Part II: My Freedom. While the two sections deserve their own attention it is very easy to consider how they both intersect one with the other.

Ali’s younger years were spent enduring beatings, constant moving from one despot country (Somalia, Saudi Arabia and Kenya) to another and the ongoing instruction of her family’s Muslim faith. There is a continuing struggle in her mind that prompts her inquisitiveness about her faith tradition—often to her own harm. Her simplistic ideas of peace, justice, mercy and love as a child many times did not match what she witnessed in her family and/or clan or her faith. As she was able to gain her freedom, serve in Parliament (among many other things) and adjust to a Western mindset later in life she still struggled with the apparent conflicting ideas of her faith and new ideals she had adapted to. Ayaan Ali vividly expresses this intersecting of personal evolvement. While being open, candid, honest and direct it becomes clear to the reader the deep concern for Muslim womens’ safety, equality and protection, and the priority of that concern she articulates through her memories.

Taking a unique position in the realm of societal observance, through no intentional motives other than personal development, Ali provides a fresh take on common focuses in society like politics, religion, and cultural assimilation. There are many references to the similarities of cultures in their interactions with each other, the zeal of religiousness and threats to each group. By being able and willing to critically examine her environments, we are provided an honest evaluation of just how similar, though they may seem far from it, people can be. This book offers a great example to the study of race and ethnic relations while also promoting her real cause. Ayaan has been able to interpret her experiences with several societies into a resource that stimulates deliberate reflection of social customs and mores.

Putting a name or a face to any situation can alter in waves of personal enlightenment. Basic study of Islam has introduced many of the notions raised in the book (i.e. female submission and male dominance). However, to read a personal recount like Ali’s of some of the drastic experiences that are common among some groups (Islamic families in this example) has increased my intention to address some of the same issues she has raised. Personally, at the very least, deep consideration and reflection towards personal spiritual beliefs have remained constant since completing this book. It is through this very process Ali has been able to progress in her efforts to bring equality to women who share many of her experiences. Perhaps it can also provide us all the opportunity to consider our willingness to impact our spheres of influence.