Denominational Decline?

So, for years we have wondered where all the church members have gone. Well, maybe this is an answer. Funny.

Typically, I have a peppermint or Jolly Rancher in the pulpit (that I carry out when I leave of course) or a small piece of gum in the back of our sanctuary. I don't keep anything in my pockets; if it's gum or candy I WILL forget and leave it there and end up staining my shirt with the inevitable gooey mess.  What's your method of choice?  A waiting wife?  Dollar Store bottle of Scope?  Run away from the crowds?

I'll have to share with you the story about the youth who was embarrassed to tell me about something I had in my nose.....or not.  Stay blessed...john