“You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours" sounds friendly enough. Helpful, even. You do something for me, and I’ll return the favor. There’s even a familiar Latin phrase for it: quid pro quo. This for that.
But if we’re not careful, “this for that” can become the math we use for relationships.
I helped you, so you should help me. I showed up for you, so you should show up for me. I gave, so eventually you should give something back.
Paul wants nothing to do with that kind of relationship with the Corinthians.
In 2 Corinthians 12, he tells them, “I do not want what is yours but you.” Then he uses the parent-child relationship as an example. “Children ought not to lay up for their parents, but parents for their children.”
Paul’s not saying children never give anything to their parents. He's describing the direction of mature love. Mature love asks, “What can I give?” before it asks, “What am I getting?”
That's an important question for the church because we can easily start seeing people according to what they bring.
Can they give? Can they volunteer? Can they teach? Can they serve on a committee? Can they help us grow?
If we're not careful, people become resources instead of, well, people.
One mark, then, of spiritual maturity is that we stop keeping score. We stop asking what every relationship can do for us. And we stop measuring people by what they can or cannot contribute.
Instead, we start asking a simpler, Jesus-shaped question: How can I love this person for who they are? Or, how can I quit pro quo, quit keeping score?
It may be that the most Christlike thing you can give someone is something they can never repay.
Stay blessed...john
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