Last week, I led my first funeral at my new church. Well...sort of. I welcomed everyone, but it was up to others to share memories, read Scripture, and participate throughout the service.
It should have felt like an easy first funeral.
But, about fifteen minutes before we were scheduled to begin, I found myself walking around the building a couple of times. All the while I was thinking, "This isn't how I would have done it."
Some details weren't in place yet. I didn't know the funeral home's normal routine. I wasn't sure who usually handled what. Everything in me wanted to put my stamp on things to ensure it all worked out correctly.
Then I caught myself.
I talk a lot about letting go of control. I've preached it. I've written about it. I've encouraged people to trust God when life doesn't unfold according to their plans.
This was a small chance to decide whether I actually believed it.
Control can make us feel like we're carrying the weight of the world. But it's our trust in God that reminds us that we never were, and that we couldn't even if we wanted.
Peter tells believers to "cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you." In this sense, to cast is to intentionally place something into someone else's hands.
That's what I did that morning.
The service went well. And it wasn't because I controlled every moment, but because, like always, God was already present. The Holy Spirit didn't need my perfectly organized checklist to comfort grieving people.
Maybe that's true more often than we realize. Believing God is in control when everything goes according to plan makes faith seem easy. The real test is when you have to loosen your grip to discover that God was already holding what you couldn't.
Stay blessed...john
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